Gypsies in the Palace
by Anonymous Donor
Summary: Duo and Heero house sit for Zechs! A heh heh heh...


Gypsies in the Palace By Jimmy Buffet  
  
An original songfic by Kathryn  
  
::Disclaimer:: I do not own Gundam Wing or it's characters. I am merely an obsessive GW fan. I do not own "Gypsies in the Palace" or any other Jimmy Buffet song. I wish I owned GW then I'd be in Hawaii or Cancun or somewhere warm I'm freezing my arse off here! I love this song, I think it is hilarious. The song just fits. You'll see what I mean!  
  
Bold is song  
  
~ * ~  
  
  
  
~ In days of old,  
  
When knights were bold  
  
And journeyed from their castles,  
  
Trusty men were left behind,  
  
Knights needed not the hassle.  
  
They helped themselves to pig and peach  
  
And drank from King's own chalice.  
  
Oh, it was a stirring sight,  
  
These gypsies in the palace. ~  
  
So long boss,  
  
Knock 'em dead,  
  
Zechs reluctantly handed the house keys to an overly anxious Duo. "Now, Duo. I'm (ugh!) trusting you with my home. Do you understand? I don't want you playing with matches or anything flammable while around my house. Got it?"  
  
Don'cha worry 'bout a thing.  
  
"No prob, Zechs! I'll be 'good'," Duo said, smiling 'angelically'.  
  
"I'm counting on you to keep him in line, Heero. I know we had our differences in the past, but please make sure he doesn't do anything too stupid," Zechs pleaded with Heero, who just nodded.  
  
1 I wish that we could come along,  
  
We'd love to here you sing.  
  
"What're you goin' away for anyway, Z-sama?" Duo was looking more mischievous than usual.  
  
"I. have to attend a conference with Relena and Lucrezia." Zechs was getting more than a little uncomfortable when Duo's grin widened.  
  
But the limo's here,  
  
Your bags are packed,  
  
The list is by the phone,  
  
"Well, looks like Pagan is here to pick you up. Here are your bags. All the emergency numbers are close at hand. Have a good trip!" Zechs got into the car and rolls down the window.  
  
"Remember! Be good!" he yells at Duo.  
  
Me and Snake'll watch your place,  
  
2 Treat it like our own!  
  
"Gotcha, Z-sama! We'll treat it like our own!" Duo yells back as Pagan begins to pull out.  
  
"Hold on a sec. I've seen his room! Pagan, stop! I have to save my home!" I was too late. Duo was already in the kitchen, looking around. He opens a pantry.  
  
"Hallelujah!" He crosses himself.  
  
Look at all this liquor,  
  
Look at all this food.  
  
"I've died and gone to heaven. Hey, Heero! Come look at this!" Heero looked at it in total awe. "Catch!" Duo tossed him a cold beer then cracked one open for himself.  
  
"I don't know, Duo." Duo was already stuffing his face.  
  
It's only gonna go to waste,  
  
We're not really being rude.  
  
"Come on, man! Loosen up! You think he'll really be able to eat this all by himself? Let's check out the rest of this place." Duo walked into what was apparently Zechs' room. "Ewwww! This guy's got it bad for Noin!" Duo exclaimed, looking at all the pictures if her everywhere. "Hmmm.. I wonder what's in here." He carefully looked at a padlock on the closet, then reached his hand back to Heero. "Heero, hand me your gun."  
  
But the good stuff's in his closet,  
  
I swear he wouldn't mind.  
  
Hell, we'll just shoot the lock off,  
  
3 I do it all the time!  
  
"Duo, I don't even trust you with a pair of toenail clippers. You think I'm gonna give you my gun?" He gave Duo a questioning look.  
  
"If you don't, I'll tell Relena and Zechs about your dreams of him." Duo smiled evilly at Heero, while his jaw dropped.  
  
"You promised!"  
  
"I haven't told... yet, but if you don't give me your gun, I'm gonna." Heero grunted unhappily and handed him the gun. "Stand back, buddy-boy! And plug your ears, too!" A shot rang out and pieces of padlock went flying, one hitting Heero in the middle of his forehead. "Sorry 'bout that!" He looked in the closet and began to drool. "Oh yeah, babe!" Liquor as far as the eye can see. "I didn't know Zechs was such a booze hound! Grab a couple bottles, Heero! .Heero?" Heero is lying on the floor, unconscious. "Oops!" Duo smiles nervously and flashes a peace sign to no one in particular.  
  
We're gypsies in the palace,  
  
He's left us here alone.  
  
The order of The Sleepless Knights  
  
Will now assume the throne.  
  
We ain't got no money,  
  
We ain't got no rights,  
  
But we're gypsies in the palace,  
  
4 We've got it all tonight!  
  
"Well, now that you're awake, sunshine, we've gotta do something fun." Another evil grins spread itself across his lips and his eyes sparkled demonically.  
  
There's damsels in distress out there,  
  
We've got all this beer.  
  
"No. Whatever you're thinking, the answer is 'no'. I don't care what you say, NO!!!" Heero crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Duo. Duo sat there and gave him the sad-puppy-dog-eyes. Heero looked away. "Don't look at me like that. You know how much I hate it when you do that." He looked back at Duo, whose face hadn't changed. "Aaaacccckkkk! Fine! I don't care! (mumbles something about the braided baka)"  
  
"Yea!!! You're the greatest, Heero!" Duo gives him a big hug.  
  
"Ugh! Don't touch me. It sickens me."  
  
We'll free them from their condos,  
  
Bring 'em over here.  
  
"I can't believe I'm letting this happen. Duo, I hate you. Omae o korosu," Heero yells at Duo over the loud music. He's got about 15 girls 'dancing' around him.  
  
"You always say that, but you never follow through. Loosen up a little! Get out here! It's a blast!"  
  
We'll show them his gold records,  
  
Play his music loud.  
  
We'll party just like Bubba does,  
  
We'll do the old man proud.  
  
"What will Hilde say about this when she finds out?"  
  
"She'll laugh! She should be at her strip club right now."  
  
"Nani? Why- how can you accuse her of that?" Heero was thoroughly confused by now.  
  
"She told me where she would be in case I needed to get a hold of her." He was completely dumbfounded. "Naaaniii???"  
  
"You two are not normal."  
  
"As if you and (shudder) Relena are?"  
  
"There is nothing between us!" he growled at Duo.  
  
"Then get out here and have some fun!" At this, six girls forced Heero up and into the crowd of dancing girls.  
  
"Omae o korosu!!!"  
  
"I love you too, Heero!"\  
  
We're gypsies in the palace,  
  
There ain't no wrong or right.  
  
We're gypsies in the palace,  
  
5 And goin' wild tonight!  
  
"I see you've found someone, Heero!" Heero was dancing with a beautiful red head who seemed a little more than tipsy.  
  
"I'm still gonna kill you!"  
  
"Oh, well. You or Zechs. Makes no difference to me!"  
  
He's the greatest guy to work for,  
  
Man, he's really cool.  
  
"He'd flip if he saw this! He's so boring. That gives me an idea! Ladies." Duo opened the sliding glass door to the pool and ushered them around it.  
  
Hey Snake, this party's getting dull,  
  
6 Throw someone in the pool!  
  
All the girls follow Duo and Heero out to the pool. "Everybody in!!!" Duo screamed as he tackled a group of about 30 girls, sending them flying into the pool with him. Heero was past the stage of drunk by now.  
  
"Gotta live a little." Heero followed suit by throwing in the remaining girls before diving in himself. After a few minutes, they all piled back inside, dripping wet and a little more sober from the shock of the freezing cold water. "Come to think of it, that wasn't such a good idea. Oh, well."  
  
7 Let's all take our clothes off  
  
And form a conga line.  
  
Duo began stripping his layers of soaked clothing. "What're you doing, Duo?!" Girls everywhere were following Duo's example. Some also started tearing at Heero.  
  
"Conga line!!!" Duo screamed.  
  
/He had this planned the whole time! What a hound! / Heero thought to himself as he got pushed into the line. A lamp got knocked over by the snake of people. "Oops."  
  
Watch out for that broken glass,  
  
8 Hey Snake, we need more wine!  
  
"Where's all the beer? We're outta beer over here!" The music stopped and everyone looked at Heero who was frantically searching for beer in the cooler.  
  
"Never fear! Duo's here! .With more cases of beer!" Everyone cheers as Duo drags in more coolers.  
  
We're gypsies in the palace,  
  
There ain't no wrong or right.  
  
We're gypsies in the palace,  
  
9 And raising hell tonight!  
  
The phone suddenly rang. "Shut off the music and everybody SHUT UP!" Heero shouted with a slight slur before he picked up the phone. "Moshi- moshi."  
  
10 Hi there boss. What's goin' on?  
  
11 You say you're coming when?  
  
"Oh, hi Zechs. No, everything is fine here. Yeah, Duo's behaving himself." Giggles are heard throughout the room. "That? Nothing. No, nobody here but me and Duo.  
  
12 I'll send Snake out to pick you up  
  
Tomorrow night at ten.  
  
"Tomorrow, huh? Yeah, that's fine with us. No, no problem. No, I haven't been drinking. Just a bad connection. See you tomorrow." He hung up the phone and turned to Duo. "Duo. He'll be here tomorrow night, and this place is a disaster!"  
  
Okay, everybody outta here,  
  
The show is closin' down.  
  
We've gotta find someone to clean this up,  
  
13 He's comin' back to town!  
  
"Mm hm. Bye. Glad you could come. See ya. Buh-bye." At last everyone had gone home. "Now what? This place looks like a war zone!"  
  
"We've gotta get cleaning. Grab a broom."  
  
"But you know how I hate cleaning, Heero!"  
  
"Too bad. This was your idea in the first place. Now, hop to it."  
  
Hi there boss. We waxed your car.  
  
We raked and mowed your lawn.  
  
Zechs arrived pleasantly surprised to see how neat everything still looked. It looked as if nothing had been touched. "Wow. I'm impressed. Not a bad job, Duo."  
  
"Oh ye of little faith. Didn't I say you could trust me?" Duo smiled angelically.  
  
14 We couldn't find enough to do  
  
In the short time you were gone.  
  
Man, it sure is peaceful here,  
  
You've really got it all.  
  
"Well, thanks again you two. A job well done."  
  
"Arigato, Z-sama. We'll, uh, just be. leaving now." Duo and Heero raced out the door and jumped into Duo's Z8 and sped off.  
  
And if you ever hit the road again,  
  
15 Give me and Snake a call!  
  
Zechs shook his head and walked to the pool.  
  
We're gypsies in the palace,  
  
He's left us here alone.  
  
The order of The Sleepless Knights  
  
Will now assume the throne.  
  
We ain't got no money,  
  
We ain't got no right,  
  
But we're gypsies in the palace,  
  
16 We've got it all tonight!  
  
"Hm? What's this?" Zechs lifted and article of clothing out of the water, and after a moments inspection he realizes it's. "A BRA?!? I'll kill them! Duo! Heero! Get back here!" HE goes running after them, but they're long gone.  
  
~ * ~  
  
A.N. How'd you like? I had a blast writing it. This is only my second one so if you don't like it...... I give you a great big raspberry! ^_~ Well, I hoped you enjoyed it. I know I put Heero way out of character, but (dodges rotten eggs flying at her head) HE WAS DRUNK!!! OKAY?!? CHILL OUT!!! Oh, dear. Where are my manners? ~_^ But anyways, I hoped you enjoyed it! Ja ne! 


End file.
